


please, please, please

by clawsnbeak



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Boys Kissing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Making Out, Making Up, Miscommunication, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 15:44:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19321195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clawsnbeak/pseuds/clawsnbeak
Summary: “Yeah, it’s definitely better to kill me than Gansey.”What. The. Fuck.“What the fuck, Parrish?”Basically, Adam is insecure and convinced Ronan doesn't give a shit about him. Cue the fluff.





	please, please, please

**Author's Note:**

> First time from Ronan's perspective so I hope I did it justice! 
> 
> Also, I am planning on continuing with my other fic tomorrow but I just had to get this idea off my chest since it had been spiralling in my mind for a hot second.
> 
> (No beta, all mistakes are my own!)

It was the third time in the past five days that Ronan slept as Adam’s place. This wasn’t a new occurrence, it happened quite frequently but Adam never seemed to mind. If anyone had asked him, Adam would’ve confirmed that he didn’t care if Ronan stayed over or not, most of the time he welcomed his presence which was more comforting than the empty silence of his small apartment when he was alone. Ronan always felt bigger than life and filled the empty spaces of his tiny church apartment to the point where Adam didn’t feel so lonely anymore.

 

So Ronan continued to happily stay over, often unannounced, until one night, everything turned awry.

  
It felt like any other night. Ronan had driven around town and the outskirts of it to lose some of his pent up energy before heading to the street on which Adam’s room was located. He knocked on the door, and as usual, it was unnecessarily loud, which Adam often reprimanded him for. Ronan still kept it up though, to tease Adam, to get his attention even if it wasn’t the positive kind.

 

When Adam opened the door, he was drawn in on himself, paler than he had been 10 hours earlier at school. The dark marks under his eyes were more noticeable in the dim light of the hallway in which they were standing. He looked awful and yet more beautiful and strange than Ronan had ever seen on another person before.

 

“Are you gonna come in or what, Lynch?” Adam said, backing into the apartment but letting the door open in an obvious hint that Ronan should come in already.

  
Ronan tried to lose the nerves he often felt while interacting with Adam and closed the door behind him, as he walked into the apartment as if he owned it. With the rent he paid for Adam to keep living here he supposed he did own it, but Adam had a way of making himself and the place in which he lived feel untouchable. Ronan still very much felt a stranger in the small room despite him being there more often than not.

 

“I have a shit ton of homework to do so you better not disturb me.”

 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Parrish.” 

 

Ronan let a sharp smirk grace his lips and watched as Adam rolled his eyes. He walked back to the makeshift desk, built out of moving boxes, and a chair, which was also a box, and slouched down on it, immediately hunching over his books. 

 

Fishing headphones out of his pocket, Ronan moved to the floor and rested against Adam’s bed, turning the music to the loudest volume he could manage without wincing. He inconspicuously looked at Adam without getting caught, he had mastered the art by now, thanks to years of practice.

 

A few hours later and Adam was done, moving slowly to his bathroom to brush his teeth. Ronan had done so an hour before and was already laying on his “bed" or, well, his jacket, a pillow he dreamt up when he first started coming over, and a threadbare blanket that Adam could spare.

 

Ronan would lie if he said he wasn’t worried about Adam, not that he would ever show but still. He worked too hard, doing homework and earning money until it nearly killed him. And then he would do it all over again the next day. Based on this, Ronan didn’t find it that surprising when Adam finally snapped.

 

Adam had walked to his bed, his entire body tense and strung tight, snapped at Ronan to turn the music off even though it had never bothered him before. Ronan did so without complaining, knowing he shouldn’t push Adam in this state.

 

It was all fine until Gansey called.

 

Ronan, never using his phone, never told Gansey that he would be staying with Adam again. Gansey’s mother hen instincts liked to kick in whenever Ronan disappears without telling him. 

 

“Adam!” Ronan could hear through Adam’s phone, the tinny sound of Gansey’s voice echoing through the dark apartment. “Is Ronan with you.”

 

“Yes,” Adam sighed, “Lynch is with me again.”

 

After some pleasantries, Adam hung up his crappy mobile phone and placed it on his small bedside table.

 

“Why are you here again?” Adam asked, sounding exasperated and more irritated than he did before Gansey called.

 

“It’s better than staying at Monmouth and killing Gansey,” Ronan said, opting for the whole truth. Adam knew this, they had talked about it in the very beginning. Ronan felt like the control over his dreams was slipping away and it was too easy to dream up a bee that would kill Gansey instantly. Adam’s place was safer, for all of them.

 

Adam let out a laugh that sounded more bitter than Ronan ever heard come out of his mouth. “Yeah, it’s definitely better to kill me than Gansey.”

 

What. The. Fuck.

 

“What the fuck, Parrish?”

“Don’t what the fuck me, Lynch. It’s why you’re here, you said so yourself.”

 

“I’m not fucking here to kill you,” Ronan said through gritted teeth. As if he could hurt Adam. He would rather die himself than let Adam get hurt in whatever way.

 

“You’re here because you’re more scared of killing Gansey than you are of killing me.”

 

Adam sounded bitter and almost… jealous? But that couldn’t be right. Could it?

 

“That’s why you’re sleeping here, you don’t give a shit if something happened to me,” Adam said, softly this time. Every insecurity since the moment Ronan started spending the night pouring out of him. He couldn’t stop talking if he tried. “So what if you dream up something dangerous, it’s only me right?”

 

Within seconds Ronan got up from the floor, climbed unto Adam’s bed, and hovered over him, holding Adam’s wrists next to his head. Ronan supposed he looked dangerous right now, staring at Adam with the rage he felt inside of him. But Adam didn’t look scared, he looked defiant and slightly hurt as if he had already decided the truth for himself. As if Ronan couldn’t say anything to change his mind. But Ronan knew he had to try.

“Now you fucking listen to me, Adam.” Adam’s eyes widening slightly at the sound of his first name being uttered. “I’m not here because I don’t give a shit about your safety. Is that what you think of me? That I would go so far to keep Gansey from dying that I’d risk your life?”

 

“I don’t-“

 

“I’m not done.” Ronan gripped Adam’s wrists a little tighter, but careful that he didn’t actually hurt him. He just had to make him understand. “I sleep here because, for some reason, I don’t have nightmares when I sleep next to you.”

 

Adam’s mouth dropped open slightly, not able to do anything but listen to Ronan’s passionate rant.

 

“I promised myself that if I ever brought something back that could harm you in any way, I would stop coming over. And, yes, part of me being here and sleeping here is so I don’t kill Gansey, but if you think that’s the only reason then you’re a fucking idiot.”

 

Adam gulped, watching as Ronan’s eyes glinted in the pale moonlight shining through his window. He was feeling warm, out of breath, and acutely noticed how close Ronan was.

 

“Tell me.”

 

“Tell you what, Parrish?”

 

“Why.”

  
They were silent for a few seconds, holding their breath, testing how far they could go. Adam knew that Ronan liked him, though he never let himself believe it was true until now. Ronan knew that Adam knew but he never felt as if he could do something about these unsaid feelings. Until now.

 

“You know why,” Ronan whispered. He couldn’t say it. He wasn’t brave enough.

 

“I do, but I want to hear you say it.”

 

Adam made him brave. Adam made him feel as if he could do anything.

 

“I’m in love with you.”

 

Adam shivered beneath him. He would push Ronan off of him any minute now. This was a disaster waiting to happen.

 

“I want to kiss you,” Adam whispered.

 

But it never came.

 

“ _Please._ ”

 

Adam pulled him down by his neck, stopping when they were mere inches away. Ronan felt like a live wire, tension and shivers running through his entire body. 

  
Ronan gasped when he felt slightly chapped lips on his and pushed back, kissing Adam back quickly before he could change his mind.

 

Please don’t change your mind.

 

Adam felt alive. _Is this what if feels like to be awake?_

 

They kissed and kissed until they were out of breath. Ronan pulled back slightly so he could breath, but lost all air when Adam gently nibbled on his bottom lip, as if he was unable to let go.

 

Ronan dove back in again, lowering himself more and more onto Adam as the kiss got more heated. Adam held his neck with one hand and his waist with the other.

 

Ronan could die happy now.

 

After what seemed like hours, hey were too tired from making out, and on the edge of sleep. Ronan curled around Adam from behind, one arm around his waist, and the other holding Adam’s hand. The hands he had obsessed over for months.

 

Adam’s breath evened out and Ronan let himself smile softly, slowly following Adam into unconsciousness, no nightmare in sight.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are, as always, much appreciated!!
> 
> (If you have a prompt, please send them in)
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://clawsnbeak.tumblr.com/)


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